Random Episodes
by Lady Edelweiss
Summary: This is basically a collection of random stuff including random characters that might explain random stuff in the books, that happens before or during but is not shown in the HP books.
1. How Rita Skeeter got her Job her Quill

**Disclaimer**- I own nothing but my own ideas. You all know that. This is a _fan_fiction website. I am writing _fan_fiction. This is labeled _disclaimer_.

Please review and tell me whether or not this is a good idea, and also, give me some ideas. Pretty please?

**Chapter 1 – How Rita Skeeter Got Her Job and Her Quill**

"You guys remember my cousin Rita from my sleepover, right?" A tall girl with curly blonde hair asked her three companions.

"The one that would not stop gossiping and asking questions?" The one with startling green eyes and dark red hair asked.

"I remember her. She kept asking you, Alice, whether or not you performed illegal mutations on your toad," a girl with large silver eyes and a bottle-cap necklace giggled.

"Ugghh. Don't remind me. Teddy wouldn't come out from the fish-tank for a week after that," The last of their company, Alice, a plump girl with chestnut hair and a friendly face pretended to gag.

"Yep, that's the one. Well, she graduated from Hogwarts last year. Somehow, Rita managed to get a job with the Daily Prophet. Personally, I think she only got the job because she bribed them with half of the Triwizard Tournament money that great-grandma Marilyn left in her will. She's not any good at writing you know, it's just that annoying quill of hers she got off of that Fletcher guy."

"Are you serious? But some of that was for you, Carrie!" The green-eyed girl exclaimed.

"I know, Lily. But you know Rita; she doesn't give a flobberworm about other people."

"Wait, did you say she got that quill off of Mundungus?" The silver-eyed one spoke.

"Yeah. Why, Lisa?"

"Last year I bought a Revealer from him, for 3 sickles, and it turned out to be an eraser painted red! How come that quill works?" Lisa frowned. Suddenly, Alice giggled.

"What?" Carrie asked.

"Well, I heard from Frank that Mundungus has a special soft spot for Rita!" Alice whispered.

"Frank Longbottom? The one that hangs out with that Prewett kid? Since when is he a reliable source?" Lisa asked.

"Since he started going out with Alice!" Carrie teased.

"Oh, shut up, Carrie!" Alice said as she splashed her with water from the lake.


	2. What Dudley Finds in the Attic

Thank you, peoples who reviewed!

**Read This: **I dropped a few hints, so if someone can figure out who Lisa is, I will let them make up a character for me to use in a chapter. Just include your guess in a review. Thankee!

Chapter 2 – What Dudley Finds in the Attic 

Dudley had never really looked through the attic before in all his years of living there. There was nothing interesting at all in _there_. Just a load of dust, and _cockroaches_. Dudley shuddered inwardly. He hated cockroaches. Once, when he was sleeping when he was very little, some of them had crawled out of a cupboard and all over him. Those _things_ last summer had made him remember the cockroaches. He had nightmares about it now. All of their little legs scratching his face! He really shuddered this time.

But for some reason, he really wanted to know what was in that attic. Who knows, maybe he'd find an old game or something up there.

Something shiny and white glinted in his eye. Dudley waddled over to it slowly. It was his mother's pearl necklace that she had lot two years ago. Maybe he could sell it at school and make some extra money. Dudley pocketed it. He could examine it later.

What was in that box there? It was open. No! It was his old revolting purple sweater with the dancing bunnies on it! There was a picture of him wearing it in an album. His parents even showed it to guests! Dudley frowned. He hated it when they did that. Once, when his mother had showed it to hid gang, he later lied and said it was his father. They all had a good laugh over that.

He remembered; that was the day they had broken those swings over in the park. The police had almost caught them that time. They had just barely managed to make it out in time; he was especially hindered by his enormous weight. But that wasn't nearly as bad as the cockroaches.

Dudley wandered away from that box. There was another box. It was even dustier than the other boxes; it looked like it hadn't been opened for over a decade. He peered closely at it. It was taped firmly shut. Dudley grabbed the end of the tape and tore it off easily.

He sat there for a moment, looking at the box's contents. It was mostly old photos. But they weren't of anybody Dudley knew. But wait a minute… there were two girls in most of the photos, and one of them looked very much like… his mother. The other girl, her eyes were very familiar. They were that Harry's eyes! Dudley shuddered. He had always scared him. Harry could do so many things if he wanted to.

But looking at the pictures of Lily and Petunia slurping ice cream together, jumping on their beds… Harry mother and his mother had been sisters, hadn't they? Suddenly, Harry didn't seem as frightening or despicable.

He dug a bit further into the box, and came up with two lockets. One of them had the initials _LE_, and the other, _PE_. What did they stand for? Dudley didn't know, but they had some kind of special meaning, he could figure that out, at least. These lockets, they couldn't be sold. They were special.


	3. Harry's Second Cousin So Many Times Remo...

_Disclaimer: See previous chapters._

_Thankee for all who reviewed! _

_Especially to **fledge**, who guessed correctly who Lisa is... duh, duh, duh, duh... Luna's mother! Yep, that's right, folks, Luna's mom. You can claim your prize anytime, although I might not put it in immediately. But I will._

_Next prize goes to the person who correctly sorts the 4 girls from chappie one. 1 goes in Gryffindor, 1 in Huflepuff, and 2 in Ravenclaw. This shall be hard. I am evil. lol. And the prize will be... a pretend cookie. Sorry, but I don't have anything better!_

**Chapter 3** – Nicholas Flamel's Grandson is Harry's Second Cousin so Many Times Removed Who Lost His Memory but Regained it and was Voldemort's Charms Teacher a Long Time Ago and is Back at Hogwarts to Fill in for Professor Flitwick (Who's on Order of the Phoenix Business) and Tells the Story of How Voldy Turned Evil to a Bunch of Students in the Ravenclaw Common Room 

"Well, students, when I was a young student in this very same house, our Head, Professor Figg, always told us stories on Friday evening. True stories, too. About Hogwarts, and Hogsmeade, usually."

"Were they scary horror stories?" a second year, Mallory O'Shea, asked eagerly as she fiddled with her quill in front of the fireplace.

"Sometimes," Professor Flamel chuckled as he answered, "But mostly just interesting tidbits about this castle."

"Did he tell you about secret passageways and rooms?" Terry Boot asked eagerly.

"She. Professor Elaine Figg. And very rarely did she give away secrets like that. She thought we would have much more fun discovering them for themselves. And we did. In fact, I do believe Ravenclaw holds the record for most house points docked for being in… _undesirable_ places."

The students gathered around the huge, overstuffed coach grinned. These days Gryffindor had taken up prank pulling, but the legacy of Ravenclaw troublemakers was still remembered.

"Anyway," Professor Flamel continued, "I'm sure all of you have taken or heard of the traditional Charms exam for first-years?" The Ravenclaws all nodded. "Well, it was first given by Helga Hufflepuff herself. Only then, it was an apple. But it's become a pineapple you have to make tap-dance."

"That's hard! I nearly failed that one, I did," Mallory had piped up again.

"Yes," Professor Flamel said gravely. "And this is one true story of one student that did fail it. He was a brilliant one, especially at Transfiguration and Potions, but always has a tad bit of difficulty with Charms. He worked very, very hard, studying for his exams. But alas, he just couldn't manage that one spell. He had a lot of pride, and he was known as the brightest student in his year. So he took this very badly. He decided that the founder who set this exam wasn't a terribly good witch. He was a Slytherin, and Hufflepuff, along with Ravenclaw and Gryffindor, had opposed Slytherin upon his departure when Hogwarts was founded.

"So this student set out to do all sorts of mischief against the other 3 houses. It started out innocently enough, I suppose, as mere pranks and jokes, but when the other students, most prominently the Gryffindors, retaliated, it soon turned nasty. Curses flew every which way, and it soon turned into a matter of revenge, then, eventually, hate. Especially against muggle-borns, whom Helga Hufflepuff much favored. This student then grew up to become one of the most feared Dark wizards of his time."

The Ravenclaws had all been silent throughout this narrative. Then the questions started.

"Is this true?" one student demanded.

"Who was he?" another asked eagerly.

"Hold, on, hold on! One question at a time!" Professor Flamel threw up his hands. "First of all, this student was…" He paused for dramatic effect, "…Tom Riddle." The students were nonplussed.

"Who's he?" Mallory asked.

"Do you think Lord Voldemort is really the Dark Lord's name?" The students all gasped at hearing the Professor say You-Know-Who's name so casually.

"So you're saying You-Know-Who turned evil because of a dancing pineapple?" Penelope Clearwater asked incredulously.

"A pineapple that _wouldn't_ dance," Professor Flamel said knowingly. Then he clapped his hands. "Now, off to bed with the lot of you! You have classes tomorrow, you know!" The students dispersed and went off to their separate dormitories, most muttering and debating over the likelihood of his tale.


	4. Dobby finds the Come and Go Room

_Thank you, I am eternally grateful to all who reviewed! Review again, pleaseness! Now, I believe I owe **fledge** a story, and here it is!_

Chapter 4 – Dobby discovers the Come and Go Room

"Winky!" Dobby pleaded. "Please, Winky, young Masters and Mistresses be coming soon, Dobby thinks! Wouldn't Professor Dumbledore being shamed to see Winky like this?" He squeaked in distress. His friend had been drinking again, and all the house-elves were getting slightly dizzy from the smell of the butterbeer. They had assigned Dobby the task of reasoning with Winky.

"Winky- _hiccup_ -is not- _hiccup_ -caring what- _hiccup_ –Professor- _hiccup_ -Dumbledore is think- _hiccup_ –ing!" Winky declared as she toyed with a butterbeer bottle. "Professor – _hiccup_ –Dumbledore- _hiccup_ –is not- _hiccup_ –being- _hiccup_ – Winky's- _hiccup_ –master!"

"Come, Winky, we must be going! Dobby is taking you on a nice little house-elf walk, he is!" Dobby said as he struggled to haul Winky upright. "Now," he gasped, supporting Winky's weight, "We be going!"

They left the kitchens, completely unnoticeable by the students, and headed up a flight of stairs. The duo continued for quite a while, Winky hiccupping and Dobby gasping all of the way.

They made it up to a very strange hallway. On one wall, there was a portrait of an odd-looking man being clubbed on the head by a group of dangerous-looking trolls. But by then, Dobby was too tired to even notice it. His magic was wearing thin, and any passing human would immediately see the two now. And he heard a bunch of them coming that way.

He looked around, panicking slightly. It would not do at all for Winky to be seen in this state. He saw on the other side of the hallway a small door. It looked like a cupboard. Quickly, he dived into it, grabbing Winky, just as a large group of Hufflepuffs rounded the corner.

It seemed that they had been extremely fortunate. It wasn't a cupboard after all, merely a very small door. It was a clean, bright, medium-sized room. By then Winky had already fell on the floor.

"Winky, we is staying here!" Dobby squeaked, even if it was no use. He continued chattering to himself. "Dobby is finding a nice room, much like Madam Pomfrey's clean room!" Then he pointed to the other end of the room. "Look, there is even being a nice little bed for Winky!" With much huffing and puffing, Dobby managed to lift Winky up onto the bed.

He explored the contents of the room for a bit, wagging his ears occasionally at what he discovered. In an hour, he had unearthed a few anti-butterbeer concoctions, extra pillows and sheets, and some newspapers for him to read while waiting for Winky to wake up. It had been a productive evening.


End file.
